or to IdeasTap

Poetry

I can’t bring myself to mention that the mince pies I bought for her two Christmases ago are still in the fridge behind the three- and-a-half boxes of chocolate brazils (that she can’t eat, now her front teeth have gone AWOL) and have probably gone slimy. And I can’t say that even the apple juice – which you’d think would be safe in its foil- lined carton – tastes dusty. To say so would be akin to remarking that despite the lithographs of Tintern Abbey on the wall and her favourite Celtic cross-stitch patterns she hasn’t been in Wales...
Plastic Lovespoon

I can’t bring myself to mention that the mince pies I bought for her two Christmases ago are still in the fridge behind the three- and-a-half boxes of chocolate brazils (that she can’t eat, now her front teeth have gone AWOL) and have probably gone slimy. And I can’t say that even the apple juice – which you’d think would be safe in its foil- lined carton – tastes dusty. To say so would be akin to remarking that despite the lithographs of Tintern Abbey on the wall and her favourite Celtic cross-stitch patterns she hasn’t been in Wales (albeit Monmouthshire – but that’s another argument she will win) since she left in 1953: in other words this would be asking for the lectures on how she followed her husband dutifully to Iran, the Congo, Saudi Arabia and even – God forbid – Ireland; and the story about how she saved her life (and more importantly her reputation) with a packet of Benson & Hedges when kidnapped by guerrillas in Bolivia. I won’t bring myself to criticise the drawer where she still saves bits of string for tying potential packages, old tin foil, balloons, and stripy straws that were...

Plastic Lovespoon
First, you must plant your feet in the ground, and draw Up water by capillary action until your toes go pruny (this shrivelling is essential – it’s part of the magic). Then take a deep breathe and hold it. Stay as still as Saint Kevin until you have sucked in all the CO2, then breathe out The nitrogen and oxygen. You may find it easier To whittle out the unwanted air by whistling As you exhale. Step three is to wait for some bright Sunshine. Savour its warmth on your skin. Your eyes Will turn green. Keep them open...
How To Mummify Your Heart

First, you must plant your feet in the ground, and draw Up water by capillary action until your toes go pruny (this shrivelling is essential – it’s part of the magic). Then take a deep breathe and hold it. Stay as still as Saint Kevin until you have sucked in all the CO2, then breathe out The nitrogen and oxygen. You may find it easier To whittle out the unwanted air by whistling As you exhale. Step three is to wait for some bright Sunshine. Savour its warmth on your skin. Your eyes Will turn green. Keep them open, and stare into the sun. Now you are photosynthesising. You’ll feel a tingle In your bloodstream – try not to panic, ladies and gentlemen, This is perfectly normal. When you have photosynthesised enough To have built up some stores of waste products, Set aside your resins and gums. Now, here’s one I made earlier. Watch as I unscrew my ribs And open up from the sternum; you will see a hard and woody Centre. It’s dead wood. As I have expanded My core has died. But so that I do not become All hollow on the inside I plug My...

How To Mummify Your Heart
He tricked me with pomegranate; somehow he knew That I couldn’t resist that blood diamond juice And the crunch of tiny teardrop seeds. My mother always said That he was no good, that he was all darkness, And gloom, and mildewed cobwebs; not like our webs That are dazzling in dew and dawn, our buds and berries, The Midas green of new hawthorn leaves. He drinks the waters Of the Stix, treacly and turbulent, not like our Chattering streams and adder-zag rivers. I missed the birds, the sound of the trees sucking up Sap from their roots, the rustle...
Persephone

He tricked me with pomegranate; somehow he knew That I couldn’t resist that blood diamond juice And the crunch of tiny teardrop seeds. My mother always said That he was no good, that he was all darkness, And gloom, and mildewed cobwebs; not like our webs That are dazzling in dew and dawn, our buds and berries, The Midas green of new hawthorn leaves. He drinks the waters Of the Stix, treacly and turbulent, not like our Chattering streams and adder-zag rivers. I missed the birds, the sound of the trees sucking up Sap from their roots, the rustle and tiptoe of Tiny unseen feet, the dances of the millipedes and The phosphorescent crocus pollen weighing down the bees Like saddlebags loaded with precious treasures. He, Hades, was winter and cruelty and death. Me, All runny honey suppleness and an April morning’s misty breath… But then he tricked me with that pomegranate. I cried. I remembered my mother’s words too late. Luckily it was All sorted out by Hermes, he was a true crème de la crème diplomat. But still I had to sojourn in the underworld. There is no garden here, except that around the Stix; All the...

Persephone

Why do you want to report this media?

Giving us a reason helps us to review people's behaviour and enables us to get rid of troublemakers. This message will only be sent to the IdeasTap Team

Please add your email address if you would like us to get back to you.

If you would like to report this to the police, please follow the link on our safety page (Opens in a new window)

All reports will be treated in the strictest of confidence within the IdeasTap Team.

More projects

Written for Concrete student newspaper, available here : http://www.concrete-online.co.uk/germaine-greer/ Germaine Greer was born in Australia in February 1939. As an academic and cultural critic, she has been at the forefront of feminist politics since she rose to prominence in the 1970’s, with the publication of The Female Eunuch (1970). Since then she has caused controversy after controversy, her charismatic advocacy for women’s liberation (not gender equality) winning her both admiration and disapproval. Greer’s career began in academia, studying and lecturing at universities across the world, including Cambridge. She then branched out into the media, presenting on Granada TV in...
Art History: Germaine Greer

Written for Concrete student newspaper, available here : http://www.concrete-online.co.uk/germaine-greer/ Germaine Greer was born in Australia in February 1939. As an academic and cultural critic, she has been at the forefront of feminist politics since she rose to prominence in the 1970’s, with the publication of The Female Eunuch (1970). Since then she has caused controversy after controversy, her charismatic advocacy for women’s liberation (not gender equality) winning her both admiration and disapproval. Greer’s career began in academia, studying and lecturing at universities across the world, including Cambridge. She then branched out into the media, presenting on Granada TV in the early 70s, writing columns for Private Eye, and later cultural columns for publications including The Times and the Guardian. A polemical work spanning feminist literary and cultural criticism, The Female Eunuch ignited debates that are still going on today, and encouraged women to seek sexual, monetary and political autonomy. Its basic argument, which propelled Greer to a position at the forefront of feminist debates, is that women are “castrated” by the social conditioning they are subjected to. The book’s caustic yet witty style made it and its writer household names. However, Greer hasn’t always been the darling of the...

Non-Fiction
See desktop version